I was watching Netflix's newest masterpiece, Moxie, and during this week where we celebrate women and their accomplishments for International Women's Day - a couple of things came to mind that I wanted to write about.
Women have been subtly confined to their little boxes for so long, that it is sometimes difficult to recognise when it occurs. Even in this new age where we are seeing far more female leaders and making great strides toward equality, we still so easily take "our place" and accept the role(s) that society (and men) dole out to us, without a second thought. We have been quiet for so long, that speaking up means that we are labeled as "difficult". So we go quietly. Rather to be quiet than to cause a scene. To be emotional. No its not passion, its pure womanly emotion.
Can you hear the sarcasm dripping off my words?
Yet, the very same actions or words, if taken or spoken by a man, would be generously accepted and even encouraged. The world will say how passionate and brave this man is. He will be praised for speaking up.
Can you see my eyes rolling?
I always think of myself as quite strong and outspoken - I am not one to shy away from a debate or speaking up on an issue that resonates strongly with me, which has sometimes landed me in trouble. But I have come to realise that this is not always the case. I work in a very male dominated environment and I had become very unaware of how nervous I am to speak my mind when I have a good idea or when I disagree with something; how very often I do keep quiet. Wouldn't want to make any waves! In 2021 it is a sad reality that very often (not always, but often!) speaking up or out against corporate norms will impede, if not, end your career trajectory. To question can mean to offend. This extends very much to social interactions as well, and both to women and men. People like you when you blindly follow their rules and their path.
How often have you experienced behaviour that didn't sit well with you or that you took exception to? And how often did you feel like it was safe to speak up?
How often have you been told to keep your head down, and not to make a noise about the issue and sooner or later the offender would move on, to a new victim?
And we are okay with this, just as long as it wont be us anymore?
We have been conditioned into believing that the outcome will be better if we say nothing, do nothing.. just keep quiet and wait for the issue to die a natural death. But what about the next woman that faces the same behaviour? We need to change this mindset not only for ourselves, but to protect all the girls and women that will come after us. To give them a fighting chance of a better and more equal world.
If you are doing nothing, you are part of the problem.
But saying this, noise for the sake of noise is simply that - noise. White noise. While I am a very strong advocate for speaking up against injustices, I have found that in this age we live in, where it is so easy to strum clever lines on a keyboard, very little action is actually taken. We protest with our home made cardboards and strong words are posted on social media and we get lost in the comments on threads of all this awareness... without anyone actually DOING something. Then the narrative goes quiet until the next trigger occurs... and we will have some noise again but we are not effecting any change.
Speaking of equality in 2021 - and please don't get me wrong with this, I love that we are finally recognising and appreciating our female warriors, leading the way for our journey to follow. We are appreciating their greatness and their achievements. But why do we still need a DAY to be celebrated? Why are we still reporting achievements of women as as the "first woman to...", "female CEO", female this, that or the other.
To me, this shows how little progress we have actually made in all this time of being "equal".
Because it is still SO apparent that we live in a mans world and any achievement is only great because "wow a female actually did that". That which a man has already achieved. The day that a female achieving what a man can and does every other day, without the need to report on the fact that a "female" (or a POC for that matter) has done so, is the day we will have truly made progress. When these achievements are the norm. When we celebrate women every day, for the value and contributions they make to every single industry or walk of life.
Going forward I am going to own my voice and my truth and keep my head held high. I will not keep my head down to appease the people and maintain peace for fear of making the perpetrator feel uncomfortable. I will make waves.
I hope that you will speak up when you see an injustice or behaviour that needs to be called out, when you feel passionate about an issue. I hope that you will encourage others to do the same. It is only through us doing so that we will see change that will benefit future generations, and all the girls and women to come after us.
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